Friday, June 18, 2010

A Graduation That Never Happened

The day we always talked about and looked forward to finally arrived. Ankit graduated today. A time to celebrate.  A time to raise a toast. Only that, the day arrived two years too soon than it should have.  Only that it arrived the way, it should never have. That Ankit was not there when it mattered most. Does it matter that a degree was conferred upon Ankit posthumously? I wish I could have written otherwise. I wish I could roll back the time. I wish…

All the parents look forward to the day, their sons and daughters would walk on the stage as their names are pronounced, and receive their degrees. A proud moment.  Sort of a dream come true. A goal achieved. A destination reached. We did too. And so did Ankit. Only, Ankit was not there. None of us could gather the courage to walk on the stage as his name was pronounced. It was his uncle, who gathering all his courage, walked down the stage and received the degree for him. I did see him walking smilingly as his name was called. That was the moment I could not hold myself back crying. A moment when life seemed meaningless. A moment when nothing mattered. A moment when I felt the futility of it all.

We felt proud though. We felt proud that our son had it in him that the University thought it fit to confer a degree on him posthumously. Not a long journey but a well traveled one.  A life lived fully. A life lived meaningfully. So typical of Ankit. Ankit had everything planned. Graduating with honours; and he was on ITM Dean’s List. Becoming a millionaire by the time he is 40 years old; and, he was on his way to becoming one. He was where everything was his for asking. He was where it was just a matter of extending the hand and grabbing it all. So close yet so far. Destiny? Fate? I don’t know. I don’t know if it was his or ours? His, to leave everything behind or ours, to live without him???