Friday, November 18, 2011

Happy Birthday Ankit!!!

November 18. Today would be Ankit’s 22nd Birthday. Happy Birthday Ankit!!! All your friends are here to celebrate your Birthday. They celebrate it the way you started it all; smearing the face of B’day person with birthday cake. A day to celebrate and a day to reminiscence. We remember it all, with love in our hearts and tears in our eyes. We remember it all. I remember asking you about your plans for your 20th Birthday. And those words are etched in my memory forever, for that was also the last time when you left home never to come back. It hurts beyond words. We haven’t seen your smile ever since, but your smile has never really left us. We haven’t talked ever since, but we talk to you all the time now. You are not here, yet you are everywhere.

Memories. Memories are what we have now. Memories of happy times. Memories of times, life was so much fun. Seems like yesterday.

Monday, November 7, 2011

The Moments

Two years. It is going to be two years, today, when it all happened. It has been two years since Ankit left us. Those terrible moments are etched in our minds forever, like a bad dream. Our worst nightmare. We don’t want to re-live those moments but we can’t forget them either. They are an integral part of us now. In fact, those moments define us now. What we are and what we aren’t. We wish we had a time machine, somehow or the other we could turn the hands of the clock back. We pray and hope, as my wife does, that Ankit will come back. We do whatever we can. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that help. The hope, the wishes, the prayers… And nothing helps. Nothing, whatsoever.

We are still trying to make sense out of it. It has such a profound effect on us, instilled so much fear in us that we have still not gathered courage to call one of our distant relatives who also lost their only son under such tragic circumstances. As much as we wish, we haven’t been able to pick up the phone, call them and offer our condolences. The very thought of calling them makes my wife hysterical. The trauma is unimaginable.  Those moments have taken their toll on the lives of us all.

The moments which changed our lives forever…… The moments we will never come to terms with. The moments gone by. You can’t live in moments gone by, but you can’t live without them either.